He grabs her wrist again and taps out an impromptu beat. “This is what matters, what you feel in here. Listen to this, not some jerk guy in the past, or a wannabe rockstar trying to spout off philosophical crap to impress a girl who’s somehow gotten the music flowing in him again. This.”Post a link to your six sentences blog entry, or join the fun at the Six Sentence Sunday website.
Lisa stares at him and he feels self-conscious in a way he never feels onstage, even with an audience of hundreds. Then she smiles and says, “You’re trying to impress me?”
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Six Sentence Sunday 12/9 #sixsunday
Today's six are from a story I wrote about a musician trying to get his song-writing abilities back, and the girl who inspires him. In this scene, she's frustrated that her friends are too overprotective of her, and he's trying to make her feel better about it.
LOL A cute six! She definitely has a hold on him, even though his the one holding her wrist. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm being a bit picky, but for me mentioning and audience of hundreds seems unnecessary once you've said "onstage." I take the point though, and I like the sentiment. I also have rock musicians in my novel WIP so am interested in what other writers do with them :)
ReplyDeleteI was told by small-band musicians that they're all insecure geeks pretending to be cool, and that the music comes first. That's what I tried to convey in my story, with the MC second-guessing himself and the actions of those around him, except when he talks about music - then his passion shows through. And that's what Lisa picks up on and responds to in the story.
DeleteAww. Such a sweet moment!
ReplyDeleteInteresting way to try to help her cope but I like it! Great six...
ReplyDeleteI really like the voice in this. Well done!
ReplyDelete